IN the depths of adversity lies the potential for remarkable transformation. Imagine having everything you’ve built, cherished, and relied upon suddenly crumble before your eyes. It’s a devastating experience that shakes your core and tests your resilience. Yet, amid the wreckage, there exists a glimmer of hope—a chance to rise anew, like a phoenix emerging from its ashes. The journey of rebuilding after loss is not just about reclaiming what was lost; it’s a profound evolution of the self, a testament to human strength, and a story of resilience that inspires others to persevere in their own challenges.

When I finally decided to scrap what remained of the old website, it still sat dilapidated for quite some time—mainly I just wanted to remove the redirect, so once I did that, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Now that I scraped away the old layer of paint and sanded it down to the bare bones, how could I possibly not only restore but also renovate something I had built without the pain and guilt of starting from scratch and forgetting what existed before.

Maybe I could build it better? I mean, with my experience building websites with my other business, FORGE, I had found better tricks and tools over the years, including the very powerful website builder and WordPress plugin, Elementor, which offers a very robust selection of WYSIWYG widgets and templates. When I had the website running before, it was a huge amount of coding on my end behind the scenes, so the new tools I’ve learned have definitely made the restoration much easier, cleaner, and faster.

IN the tapestry of human emotions, few threads are as intricate and delicate as the decision to part ways from a relationship that once held our heart captive. Just as a skilled artist might contemplate each brushstroke, so too must we contemplate the rhythm of our heartbeats when faced with the crossroads of moving on or holding on. This poignant juncture calls forth a symphony of emotions, each note resonating with the harmonious struggle of bidding adieu to the past and heralding the advent of a new beginning.

When I left my ex, I felt like I was closing a chapter, and I was scared what that meant… What if my next chapter wasn’t as good, as meaningful to my whole story as the one I was closing? What if I’d made a mistake? Despite how toxic our relationship had become, what if I was walking away from the person I was supposed to be with… what if I never found someone else who supported me with my writing aspirations?

All these questions ricocheted inside my head as my house faded from view and I drove to Atlanta to my friend’s house, who had graciously offered her guest bedroom temporarily until I found an affordable place of my own. About 15 minutes into the drive, my head quieted as the noise of the questions was replaced with the sound of the music blaring from my car radio—until about 10 minutes before I arrived at Jessie’s house.

With my doubt dissipating, my courage slowly made its appearance just as the lights of Atlanta made theirs into my sights, my thoughts shifted… What if this next chapter is the best of my life’s story—what if this moment changes my life so pivotally that I finally find the happiness and love that all of us deserve?

IT’S hard to believe it’s been almost 8 years since I was forced to put The Bearded Scribe Press on a very unwanted—but inevitable—hiatus. With the blog and the publishing company, I had finally found my creative outlet, and then all at once, I was forced to give it up.

Without getting too detailed on the reasons, I was also forced to make another hard decision as well: to walk away from a 14-year relationship—a toxic one, sadly, with a level of perniciousness I kept hidden from the world, perhaps in hopes (or maybe denial) that it would one day change. As much as we tried to make it work, however, at the end of the day, we were not bringing each other the happiness we both deserved, the happiness everyone deserves.

Although we could no longer make it work as a couple—or, unfortunately, even as friends—I will forever be grateful for the support my ex gave me in my writing endeavors. I think, other than it logistically not being able to fit it in my schedule anymore, this is the reason I found it hard to focus on writing after the break because writing reminded me of my ex (and my failed relationship).

Coincidentally, and funnily enough—well, truly not as funny as it was frustrating—someone hacked into the website (about 3 months after the breakup) and created an automatic redirect to a porn site, as if the universe was trying to nail home even more the fact that I should put my writing on hold. Even though I still technically owned the domain name, I could not log into the website or do anything to fix the issue. After a month or so of trying with GoDaddy to correct the issue, I gave up, and the site sat dormant for about a year and a half after. Every now and again, for a few years, I tried to log in and make a backup of the data, but I had no luck saving the data without also saving the redirect. Even GoDaddy had no luck and told me my best bet was to wipe the site completely and do a fresh re-install of the theme and plugins—this, however, meant losing all the pages and blog posts I spent years creating with my team.